Wednesday 2 February 2005

Mary & I

A few years ago when word spread that Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark was seeing an Australian girl, I have to be completely honest and say that I held mixed emotions about the situation. 

Certainly, I was somewhat proud to think that Frederik had chosen an Aussie but at the same time, I was a tad jealous that Mary Donaldson would perhaps soon be living in the country I consider a second home. 

I spent a good part of my twenties in Denmark, which I�d also have to be quite honest and say that it had been a country I�d never thought that much about until I arrived there and promptly fell in love with the place.  Now I can�t believe that anyone couldn�t.   

In a great way, it came as no shock to me that Crown Prince Frederik fell for an Australian girl.  As an Australian who has lived in Denmark very happily, I can say that there are a surprising number of similarities between Danes and Australians, even if we�re situated at opposite ends of the Earth.  It just took a marriage to publicize them.  I tried in vain for years but was no match for a Prince and a girl from Hobart. 

In fact, in spite of my diplomatic failure there are a few Danes who must have done a double-take when Frederik and Mary�s marriage was announced.  I have no doubt about this because they owe me a hundred kroner each. as a result of a bet.  Thanks to Mary Donaldson, I have proved to be not only triumphant but, it seems, clairvoyant.    

One dark and sleety winter�s afternoon, back in the 1980�s, at a place called Caf� Victor in Copenhagen, conversation turned to whom Frederik would marry. From memory the subject resulted from a recent break-up. Unanimously, no one predicted it would be a Danish girl.  Princesses from Europe were put forward, as were certain actresses but I, in what turned out to be insightful prescience said that their Crown Prince would marry an Aussie girl.  I had, I confess, downed a few drinks but I was half serious.  The table roared with laughter! 

Part of my statement was in jest, I must admit, but another part reasoned that it wasn�t such a madcap idea. It was also based on my experiences living in Denmark with the Danish people.  I felt that the cultural divide was far narrower between the two countries than elsewhere.  Language restrictions aside, like Australians the Danes are very open, unlike say, the Swedes or the English.  And, like Australians they are not pretentious by nature. 

In retrospect - and with some regret - no member of the royal family ever fell in love with me during my time there and I can quite imagine the feeling if one had, just like what happened to Mary.  You see, Denmark�s royal family is quite literally an integral part of Danish identity.  They are revered by most, not so much for their pomp and pageantry but more that people look at them as part of their own families, despite probably never having met them. 

It was quite a discovery learning and observing just how much Danes thought of their royal family and in such happy terms.  Old, young, men, women and even out-of-control youths seemed to have nothing negative to say about them.  In the whole time I was there, I met only two republicans and both implied that they were fighting a lost cause.  Interestingly, one said he wouldn�t want any change during Queen Margrethe�s reign anyway. 

I therefore knew that Mary would not have to work too hard to find friends in the wider public.  All she would have to do was be good to Frederik, give the work her best, put some effort into the language and appear to get along with Queen Margrethe. 

I also had a hunch that she would have no trouble settling into life in the Kingdom, with the exception of the vastly different climate.  While Tasmania is the most southern and coolest state of Australia, its winter is still warmer than Denmark�s, (although many from Northern Australia would beg to differ).  And, if she coped with the cold, I wondered how she�d fare with the winter darkness, which was my greatest battle.  The long summer days can be wonderful but endless winter nights and dusky winter days are enough to send even the most stoic foreigners reaching for the lithium. 

However, for all their geographic and historical differences, Denmark and Australia actually do share cultural similarities.  The inhabitants of both have a friendly, easygoing outlook on life, which I�m sure Mary has recognized.  As well, there is a very like sense of humour based on irony, an ability to laugh at oneself and a touch of sarcasm, something that doesn�t even escape the Queen.  A journalist was once brave enough to ask the chain-smoking Margrethe about her �smoking problem�.  The Queen looked straight at the journalist and said, �What problem?�  

Unlike Australia, which has turned into a vehemently anti-smoking nation, I often felt that there were more smokers in Denmark per head of population than even France.  Danes seemed to love the habit. I recall taking second looks as I watched women smoking cigars and cheroots in caf�s and restaurants, something I�d never seen before but something I�m sure Mary has come across.  Most of the royal family smoke or have smoked, even the beloved, old Queen Ingrid.  

Despite this �problem� with smoking, the Danes are also sports lovers and as a country made up of islands and with only one small border with mainland Europe, like Australia, much of this activity involves the sea.  I have to say however, that while some of the beaches in areas like Jutland rival beaches here, the water temperature, even in the summer, is sadly lacking, something I am sure the Crown Princess has by now discovered! 

Denmark has a long history of sea faring and sailing is a popular pastime as most of the population live within fifty kilometres of the sea.  Hobart in Tasmania, where Mary grew up is also a place where sailing features prominently.  Therefore, it was hardly surprising that in the lead up to the royal a yacht race formed part of the festivities. Nor was it surprising (in retrospect!) that the Crown Princess�s craft, emblazoned with our �boxing-kangaroo� and captained by our America�s Cup winner, John Bertrand sailed in and claimed the day. 

Frederik was predictably gentlemanly in defeat and when asked what he expected the conversation to be about later, smiled wryly and said, �No doubt something about Australia�.  Somehow, I imagine he was right. 

Perhaps the hardest challenge for Mary will be the language.  I found it quite difficult myself.  It�s not so much its written form � as any language will have grammatical challenges - but more the spoken.  Unlike Swedish, which is closely related, words are not pronounced phonetically and there�s a tendency to swallow much of a word in pronunciation. 

Even after a couple of years, I still sometimes only understood the gist of a conversation and I suspect that Mary will experience the same but Danes definitely appreciate the effort.  I would love to know how she battles with the possessive pronouns �sin� and �sit�.  Although, she can take comfort in the fact that even German born Queen Silvia of Sweden still has the occasional slip-up in public. 

One step about living in Denmark that Mary never had to worry about was residency, an absolute pain for non European Union citizens.  The rules are strict and depressingly immovable.  For those of us unlucky enough not to marry or at least have a de facto relationship with a member of the Danish Royal Family, the process of obtaining a permit equates to climbing Everest.  I hope Mary realises how easy she had it! 

It�s also very interesting, if not for me quite depressing, to note that in a few months Mary has done more to boost the numbers of Australians visiting Denmark than I achieved in fourteen years.  My pre-Mary suggestions to those visiting Europe to call in on Denmark were usually met with disinterested remarks like, �Too cold!�, �Why??�, �I hate herring� or �I�m sure it�s lovely but we don�t have time�.  Now it�s well up there on the �must sees�.  

Suddenly thousands believe my rather tired dialogues of how much they would enjoy meeting the Danes and how �at home� they would feel if they went there. Quite astoundingly, Denmark is suddenly on every Australian�s lips and Danes are looked on as honorary citizens.  I think of all my pointless hard work trying to build bridges, when all I really needed was a red dress and a ruby tiara.