The Unofficial British Royal Family Pages

Wednesday 9 June 2004

The Other Bermuda Triangle

Once upon a time, there was a prince whose family, in the not so distant past, reigned over much of the world. While not exactly handsome, he was fit, charming and appeared to have a sensitive side.  From a distance, his people watched him grow, waiting to see the kind of person he would become.    

He was a rather intense young man, mindful of doing the right thing by the monarchy, especially when it came to choosing a bride.  He seemed to have a lot of fun trying to find the right one and then one day, just when the people had almost given up hope, he introduced his future wife to the world.

A young, pretty Lady from one of the oldest families in the Kingdom, she quickly worked her way into the peoples’ hearts.  She adored the prince and he appeared to be far happier than he had ever been. 

They married in a grand church, with much fanfare and magic, in front of the whole world.  People celebrated the event all over the Realm, and it seemed that the monarchy was entering a renaissance. The couple had two children to ensure the monarchy’s future and all seemed well with the world.

What the people didn’t know was that in the background, the prince had come under the spell of another woman whom he had met a long time before….

Sound familiar?  I thought it might.

Nothing sparks more interest and argument than the Charles, Diana & Camilla triangle.  Everyone has an opinion.  There are those who think that Charles is in cahoots with the devil, some that feel Diana was nothing but a schemer, ‘flying in on three engines’ and others who believe that Camilla is a Chief Executive of one of the world’s oldest professions.  Whatever we think, the only certainty in the whole saga, is that it is a dreadful mess.

While it seemed, more than half a century before Charles and Diana’s wedding, that ‘Uncle David’s’ abdication was the greatest threat to the monarchy in recent history, this ill-fate union proved more of a danger to the institution.  What started off as a new era for the British monarchy, too soon turned into something that could damage it irreparably.
 
What of the main players in this dark triangle?  Who is to blame? Who is the victim?  Can wounds be healed? Obviously, there is no easy answer.  Relationships are the most complex part of our lives; they can break us, just as easily as they can make us.  They have the ability to bring out the best of person’s personality, as easily as they can bring out their worst.  Historically, wars have been fought because of them and even today they have been the undoing of the powerful.   Royalty are not immune from their effects, as we have seen all too clearly.
 
Let’s take a look at each of the players in the saga.  In my opinion, none is completely free of blame.  Their personal lives aside, each has played a part in damaging the monarchy and perhaps, even more significantly, offended the monarch, who as well as being respectively, mother, mother-in-law, an inner circle ‘friend’ is, also their Queen.  But none of the three is or was the devil incarnate.  They are and were human beings, going through circumstances that many of us go through in our own lives. 
 
The difference is that two of them played an integral part in their country and the Commonwealth, one the future Head of State of not just one country but many and that’s the crux of the problem. 
 
We expect personal problems in our own lives.  Most of us battle everyday to rear families, pay bills, struggle with work and try to keep a roof over our heads.  Much of our life is spent simply trying to exist.  Royalty, on the other hand, really have nothing like our problems to worry about.  They continue in their pampered position at our pleasure, the majority of us happy for them to do so as long as they give us value for money.  We demand very little; support, encouragement, representation and an institution, shared across nations, that we can be proud of.
 
What we most definitely don’t want is a scenario of life reminiscent of Eastenders, Neighbours or even the lives of some Hollywood stars or the jet set.  Royalty, in our minds, for those who have a respect the modern version of the system of monarchy, is about decency and humanness.  Certainly, it is also about pomp and pageantry, jewels and palaces but at the end of the day, we expect its members to be benevolent and not only worthy of our money, but worthy of our respect and trust.
 
The greatest difficulty facing the Prince of Wales is the lack of respect people feel for him.   Lots can’t stand him.  These people will never forgive him for ‘doing the dirty’ on Diana and while this is understandable, it is not particularly humane. In their view, he shall never be fit to be king because of his affair with Camilla Parker Bowles and what transpired afterward.  He not only betrayed his wife, but also them, as he was supposed to be morally above that sort of behaviour.   Had Diana been more ‘European’ in her attitude to their marriage or like a number of other royal wives throughout history, Charles’ popularity may have fared better.
 
The fact is that Diana was not that sort of woman.  Starved of a family life as a child, she was desperate to create a solid one of her own.   In Charles, she no doubt initially thought that she had found the perfect partner, keeping in the back of her mind that as heir to the throne, he could never divorce.  How wrong she was.  Her world quickly fell apart. 
 
She tortured herself physically and mentally before turning all weapons on the man, I fear, whom she continued to love and the institution to which he belonged.  Quite understandable, of course, but rather imprudent.  Had she been given space by the media and withdrawn from public life for while, as she had announced she would do, she may have seen that in attacking the institution she had married into, she was also damaging her children’s future.  Queens are not different to the rest of us when betrayed, as Diana found out when the letter arrived, demanding that she divorce.
 
Unlike Charles, Diana didn’t have the luxury of falling into the supporting arms of her greatest love.  All through these times, her greatest love could turn to the woman who had stolen his heart many years before and who was, let’s face it, the catalyst for the breakdown of his marriage.  To her credit, Camilla has never spoken out about the situation.  In fact, she has played the role of mistress perfectly, copping the hate mail and abuse after the death of Diana and supporting Charles during countless scandals. She is said to be charming, warm and utterly devoted to her man, much as Diana was to the same man.  I dare say, most of us would like her, if we met her.
 
Like Charles, Camilla’s greatest problem is that most people don’t respect her.  While few would deny another happiness or the love of their apparent ‘soul mate’, one simple fact remains; Camilla knowingly became the third party in a marriage of great significance, not just to the couple but also the people.  
 
One has to wonder that had she declined Charles’ advances, if she would not have, in the long run, been better off.  It would have been a risk for her to leave the Wales’s to themselves and to wait and see what happened but a gamble that could have paid off.  I think the marriage might have had a chance with no outside interference but, then again, one never knows.   Had the marriage deteriorated irreparably on its own, Camilla’s entry into Charles’ life, even as a divorcee would have been more palatable to most people.
 
For all her good qualities, and I am sure she possesses them, Camilla will now always be known as the ‘other woman’. She is the woman who won the Prince’s heart but destroyed a marriage in the process, an extremely important one at that.  Unfortunately for Camilla, few would support her becoming Queen Consort because of this, although it could well happen.
 
The situation is, at best, precarious. Charles is not an awful fellow.  He is a victim of his own decisions and actions, which have cost him very dearly.  He is lost in a kind of personal limbo, obviously searching for an answer that will please him and everyone, or hoping that we will just forget.  But, what he doesn’t realise, is that there is now no perfect solution and he only need to look at his aunt, Margaret and great-uncle, David to see this and what both gave up.   Being monarch brings with it overwhelming duties and obligations, not the least of which is that your people must find you worthy enough to bow and curtsey too.  The Queen has achieved this by devotion to her position and to her people, as did her parents.  Simply being a Royal Highness or Majesty today is not enough to earn such homage.  
 
One hopes that if Diana were here today that she and Charles would have had an amicable relationship, as they had begun to enjoy in small ways, before her tragic death.  If this had been the case and she had found happiness in her own life, Charles’ position today may have been far brighter.  If people could see that the beloved princess was leading a purposeful and contented existance, they might have been more accepting of Charles and Camilla’s relationship.  But it did not work out that way.
 
Whatever happens now will please few, unless of course, the unlikely happens and people decide to give the couple a go.   We may have a King Charles and a Queen Camilla or a King Charles and Countess/Duchess of Somewhere but should the Queen live to an age similar to that of her mother, Charles will be an old man himself.  Then, it will be up to him to decide whether or not at such an age, he actually wants the throne and the work that goes with it.
 
There are no winners in this tragic triangle.  Diana lost her life and a chance to see her children grow into the young men they are today.   She also died at a time in her life when her popularity was waning, her life more that of an indulgent Hollywood film star than princess, and it took her death to win back the people.
 
Camilla has the man she adores at the cost of being abhorred by many and will probably never shake the title of Royal Home Wrecker, no matter what good work she may do.  She must also live with the fact that very few think her worthy of being their Queen or even deserving a royal lifestyle.
 
And Charles?
 
Well, for me, I have never felt so sorry for, and angry at someone as I did on that ghastly day, when he flew with Diana’s sisters to Paris and stood before a shell-shocked and even loathing world, as he took his wife’s body ‘home’.  He was a brave man that day and the day of the funeral, but for the first time in a long time, he did right by Diana.  Sadly for him it was too little, too late, and far more than any other, in his marriage to the Princess, that day changed the solidity of his destiny.  Through the shock and grief he must have realised that the job he was born and groomed to do, was less of a certainty.        

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- Gioffredo