The Unofficial British Royal Family Pages

Wednesday 12 May 2004

Prince Philip

Born in a country famed for its handsome athletic young men, it’s perhaps not surprising that the Duke of Edinburgh was no exception to his fellow Greek peers.  What makes his case different, however, is that rather than the tanned, dark eyed Adonis we have come to expect of the Greek image of masculinity, Philip in fact, was a snow white Nordic blonde with fine chiselled features, pool clear eyes and toffee-coloured skin.  But then, the once Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark has always been a man of contradictions. 

An old man now, he will probably be remembered most for his often politically incorrect gaffes and, if not them, then for the relationship or lack thereof perhaps, with his eldest son, the heir to his illustrious wife’s throne.  Very much a man’s man, the Duke’s relationship with the sensitive and introspective Prince of Wales has never been easy and his personality and outlook on life is most similar to the pragmatic Princess Royal.   

But is Philip the insensitive bulldozer many people, including me, picture him to be? Is there more to the man who jovially gave us such gems as, ‘If you stay here much longer you’ll get slitty eyes’, (to a group of Western students in China)?  With some thought, I think there is.  The trouble is that his bombastic personality clouds what really lays behind the whirlwind; a proud man from relatively humble beginnings who, with strength and determination, carved out a life for himself in an institution where he has always had to take the back seat.

Perhaps an insight into his early family life will explain much of the man whom Philip is today.  Born the only boy to Prince Andrew and Princess Alice of Greece, Philip’s life began at the exact time that the Greek Royal Family were enduring one of their frequent flees from the country.  Philip’s family was far from wealthy, his father a chronic philanderer and his mother deeply spiritual.  With only sisters (and a father who was rarely around), he lacked a male role model in his life and, to a certain extent, must have had to base his ideas of what it took to be a man from other, less personal, insights.

Until he married, he also never really had a family home.  He was shuttled around grace-and-favour and relative’s houses all over Europe and, later, boarding schools.  One can surmise that he must have been desperate to have the same sort of family life he saw in his contemporaries. Due to his family’s poor financial state, he had the bare necessities in his wardrobe, which, apart from being highly inconvenient for a prince, must have also been secretly embarrassing.

Perhaps to make up for these deficiencies, he equipped himself with a steely resolve to be seen as a highly capable man who relied only on himself to make what he could of his life.  Of course, everything comes at a cost and it would seem that, in venturing off into life this way, he had to hide his sensitive side which, given his mother’s and his sister’s influence on his life, he must have possessed.  I can hear him saying ‘Stuff and nonsense!’ to all this but he is also a man from an era where men most certainly never delved too deeply into their emotions.  Any attempt by others to do so would be either laughed off or faced with an icy barrier.

I’ve often wondered what a young man like Philip, with no shortage of super rich and attractive women vying for his attention, could have possibly seen in a very young, extremely dutiful and sensible Princess Elizabeth.  By all accounts, he had a wicked sense of fun, dashing good looks and was more than capable of falling in love with some beauty whom he would never have to walk three steps behind but could still be able to participate in the aristocratic world he came from.

We’ve all read of what I can only call the ‘Mountbatten’ conspiracies to bring the two together but, given Philip’s personality, it had to be something more as he is not the kind of bloke who would marry someone if he didn’t want to.  Certainly, there must have been some attraction on his part.  He knew first hand what a loveless marriage was like and, I should imagine, like others with separated parents, promised himself to never end up in a marriage like Andrew and Alice.  He no doubt saw in Princess Elizabeth a girl with both feet planted firmly on the ground. 

While she was heir to the greatest throne in the world at that time, it was unthinkable that she would ever divorce.  She was sensible, stable and secure and this was no doubt attractive to a man whose life had been spent without a fixed address.  She took her responsibilities seriously but could be lots of fun and warm to those she felt comfortable with: and we all know what she thought of him.

Love aside, life as a consort cannot have been easy for a man who had enjoyed independence for most of his life.  In the early years of his marriage, it was still a time where men were supposed to be leaders and, playing second fiddle, no matter how much he loved his wife, must have been gruelling at times.  The reluctance of the modern world to embrace the title of King Consort could not have helped either; not only would his children not automatically bear his surname but, outside the family home, he would never be equal in title to his wife.

Even if Philip had enjoyed a happy childhood, I doubt that we would have been spared his frequent public gaffes and insults. He is obviously someone who speaks first and thinks later and has, I suppose, what could at best be called a ‘refreshing’ disregard for political correctness.  Like him or not, I do wonder whether we can judge him for the repercussions of a no-nonsense approach and a black and white view of the world.  Usual rumours aside, he has been a great support to the Queen and they appear to be very much in love now after over half a century of marriage, something many people today have no chance of achieving - three quarters of the couple’s children for starters!

Which brings me to his relationship with his son, The Prince of Wales.

To me, the issue of Philip’s relationship with Charles is the most exasperating quirk of his character.  There’s no doubt that parenthood is a far harder and a more important job than being a monarch but, it is obvious to all (thanks to Charles’ public airing of his beefs against his parents),  that there are some very deep wounds. 

Lots of fathers’ dream of having sons who>will be their mirror image and, like these, Philip was obviously sorely disappointed when Charles was not.  There are a plethora of incidents in Charles’ childhood where we see Philip trying to turn Charles into someone like him.  It was never going to happen.  While Philip is extroverted and happy being one of the boys, Charles is naturally introspective, quiet and happier in the company of women.  He doesn’t lack a macho side but obviously jumping out of aeroplanes and diving in the Arctic never completely made up for being passionate about philosophy and literature. 

We will never know what the Charles who was allowed to follow his own interests would have been like.  Instead, we see a man that the people either resent, even loathe, or worse still pity.  We have an heir to the throne, who at near old age, holds grudges and plants blame for his troubles on his parents.  Moreover, it doesn’t look like he will ever forgive his father or make some other important, gut-taking decisions about his life anytime soon.

Living with expectations that he could never fulfil must have been extraordinarily hard for Charles but if he thinks that his father doesn’t love him or care about his well being, which seems to be the case, I think he is wrong.  Very few parents are ambivalent about wanting the best for their children. To me, it seems that Philip’s fault in Charles’ upbringing was that he wouldn’t let his son grow into being his own man, but rather wanted to mould him into the man he thought he should be.  As a result, Charles spent much of his early adulthood trying, and understandably failing, to be the kind of man his father wanted him to be.

I know that for all the annoyances and anger Prince Philip might incite that he is not devoid of love and feeling.  Like Charles, he had his own demons from childhood to deal with, not the least of which was his own father.  The father that abdicated his family duties, who saw little of his son and who died more or less penniless. The father, who left his only son as his inheritance, a box of old suits and accessories that Philip, despite his gruff exterior, coveted fondly. Hardly the reaction we might expect from a man who could quite easily have born a grudge and burned the lot.

There’s no doubt that Philip is tough.  He has a naval background and comes from a generation where problems were sorted out in private and a stiff upper lip was paramount.  Quite obviously, he must have found the antics of some of his children and their spouses baffling.  Nevertheless he is not inhumane.  He was ‘proud as punch’ at his eldest son’s wedding and later, sympathetic to his daughter-in-law’s plight when that marriage failed.  He has been a great partner to a remarkable woman who has a job that is both relentless and demanding and he is an interested and active grandfather.  But I wonder what he thinks about at night before he drifts off to sleep; I have a feeling his thoughts would often be about Charles and of what and where it all went wrong.

- Gioffredo